who thought hands free device was invented for drivers? Who would have imagined the extensive use of hands free device in India? We have changed the meaning of handsfree here. I had pleasure of travelling on a overcrowded jeep from gandhinagar to ahmedabad. As we know they fill this with as many people to make max profit from each trip. The extra confident driver drives the jeep with more efficiency than formula one drivers. Ofcourse his both feet firmly on pedals and one hand on steering wheel and other holding the roof of the car with deadly grip, rest of the body he pushes out of the car to allow one more passenger in front letting his butt hanging in the mid air. ....So back to handfree, generally they are used by non-drivers only. I was lucky to find seat in that next to open exit window/door, lady sitting in front was holding the rod above firmly and handbag with other on edge of the seat and talking away on handsfree. On crowded public travel hands free devices are must where finding and moving your hand on peak hour is a task. Although it appears as if people are falling over each other in buses, amazingly your personal space is never invaded, people know how to hold their luggage and body to themselves on bumpy drive with sudden breaks and changing of lanes. People come aboard and immediately put their heavy laptops on laps of seated passengers. Seated ones with reflexes puts palms to secure the stranger’s laptop. I wonder if they know each other already! But no. There is no ‘r u sure you don’t mind’, ‘u r so kind’ ‘so thought full of you’ no such exchanges. Indians act and move on from each situation without fuss. I was offered once to hold my 3 tiny booklets to seated passenger in case my hand was getting stiff trying not to fall! People are less paranoid about rights and personal space in general, intellectual property rights and many more including more importantly teenager’s rights!
Still from the bus...I enjoy hop, skip and jump on buses. That allows me to see so many sites I would otherwise ignore/miss. I was looking out and saw shop called yellamma devi’s shop. There where photos of cow and other deities and garlands. There were couple of ladies looking ever so pretty with big bindi, saree and double gajra in hair and doing some work. As I followed their hand movement I saw it was meat shop and they were chopping away. ‘devi maa, itnaa bhi sumhaar mut karo!’ I have also seen other unsuitable names such as supriya pig shop. Oh no how can a pig be su-priy?! If it is priy then why priy pig would have such fate?!! Essentially a Butcher sounds so poetic and graceful with that gajra!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
addressing
Move over, Carla Bruni! We are the new pair of Mademoiselles! Ever since we arrived here I am trying to look sideways, behind to double check if they are addressing me only everytime they address madam! Gate keepers, servants, helpers, milkman, newspaper man, dhobi they all don’t start or end without madam and sir. Infact they stand in so polite posture and humbleness in the eyes that I get scared if I lift my eyelid bit bigger they will fall. As they say it mudum for everything, sometimes yes, no, here you go, please, sorry everything is replaced with mudum, mudum and mudum.
I don’t deny that I have not heard people addressing others as saheb in Ahmedabad but mostly it would be sarcastic friendly joke to known friend!! Whats more if they really like you they will treat you like unruly child with expressions like ‘ey chul be’, ‘topi aagho rhe’, ‘samajya havey bes bes’. And if you are talking to someone really successful and affluent you can always address as ‘Maheshiyaaa, vikramiyaaa, Akki, Aski, bharattaaa...not only there is no sir but we distort their names truncked if big, and, extened it if small, in no particular order as a reward for their success. And it still sound melodius is an art! Bindhasst Gujaratis!!
Sweetest is Kamya’s friends talk to me and address with name followed by auntie and to my immense joy invites me home for joint mother-daughters gatherings (i have yet to attend). My ears are not yet fully tuned for that though. I remember school friends there would just call and say ‘is kamya THUR?’ and if lucky add prickly ‘please’ at the end. I was no name attendant. If you think of it now in this mobile phone age some mothers wont have even that previledge of answering landline calls for permission.
I don’t deny that I have not heard people addressing others as saheb in Ahmedabad but mostly it would be sarcastic friendly joke to known friend!! Whats more if they really like you they will treat you like unruly child with expressions like ‘ey chul be’, ‘topi aagho rhe’, ‘samajya havey bes bes’. And if you are talking to someone really successful and affluent you can always address as ‘Maheshiyaaa, vikramiyaaa, Akki, Aski, bharattaaa...not only there is no sir but we distort their names truncked if big, and, extened it if small, in no particular order as a reward for their success. And it still sound melodius is an art! Bindhasst Gujaratis!!
Sweetest is Kamya’s friends talk to me and address with name followed by auntie and to my immense joy invites me home for joint mother-daughters gatherings (i have yet to attend). My ears are not yet fully tuned for that though. I remember school friends there would just call and say ‘is kamya THUR?’ and if lucky add prickly ‘please’ at the end. I was no name attendant. If you think of it now in this mobile phone age some mothers wont have even that previledge of answering landline calls for permission.
whiplash injury
Talking about health and safety... we take it in our stride. My classmate entered class sweating like hell and panting and limping to the chair. His foot was run over by a wheel of passing car. Teacher seriously heard but continued lecture. After convenient break he asked to be excused early due to pain. Teacher caringly refused said very important information to be delivered just hang in there as there was no swelling only pain otherwise you will miss out on it. At the end he discussed about roadside accidents from pedestrian point of view and how to withstand being run over on the roads, how different makes of cars and tyres would hurt in which way. He also very confidently said you will not get fracture if you stupidly don’t wriggle your toes after accident. Just move on to your business as if nothing happened!! Yes, everyone bumps into everyone on the road, there is almost no road rage and certainly no whiplash injury compensations. Poor unborn breed of injury lawyers and ofcouse doctors!!!
Use or not to use
If I say ‘yellow construction hat’, what would you associate with?! A hunky builder? Or some boringly unimaginative people may think of health and safety?!! I saw it in completle contrast! It was worn by the dainty construction worker lady and worn upside down. She found it more useful to carry it like clay pot with water only she put some brocken tiles, any objections with that? See, gadget is something that comes handy, now if required this can very well be used to serve sambhaar or tadka daal after a good rinse in lunch hour. And 'Improvization' bhi koi chiz hoti hai.
By the same token you can ignore usefulness of a gadget if it hinders your work. Living in Diary and time obsessed Britain, first gadget that we all must adhere to is clock, isn’t it?! Not in India. I have started a course ( i will write about it later ) and first thing my coach loud and clear said that wrist watch is the worst thing to have it on you when you are in work mode. Never look at time when you have goal in front of you. For example, if you have to capture market in young people working in call centres than don’t expect to get any response from them during the day when they are sleeping, instead put up stall when they have lunch time break by American time in middle of the night. They will happily come and spend few minutes looking at your products. Not wearing watch does not mean you reach late in morning either, anyone reaching late has to be punished in sweet way. 10 minutes and you bring chocolate, 20 minutes and you bring proper mithaai and so even sponsor lunch for entire class. It pinches when in middle of the class your teacher sends you out to get some food but then it is compensated by gratitude and wah – wah done by rest of peers. As soon as one has to shade some rupees they are careful next time!
By the same token you can ignore usefulness of a gadget if it hinders your work. Living in Diary and time obsessed Britain, first gadget that we all must adhere to is clock, isn’t it?! Not in India. I have started a course ( i will write about it later ) and first thing my coach loud and clear said that wrist watch is the worst thing to have it on you when you are in work mode. Never look at time when you have goal in front of you. For example, if you have to capture market in young people working in call centres than don’t expect to get any response from them during the day when they are sleeping, instead put up stall when they have lunch time break by American time in middle of the night. They will happily come and spend few minutes looking at your products. Not wearing watch does not mean you reach late in morning either, anyone reaching late has to be punished in sweet way. 10 minutes and you bring chocolate, 20 minutes and you bring proper mithaai and so even sponsor lunch for entire class. It pinches when in middle of the class your teacher sends you out to get some food but then it is compensated by gratitude and wah – wah done by rest of peers. As soon as one has to shade some rupees they are careful next time!
Am I qualified to say about work culture?
Every time I called helpline services in UK, I spoke to Indian sitting in one of the call centres here. I found their diction clear, voice crisp, very polite, patient and above all endlessly helpful. Made me feel very proud. Thats end of all the praises. Listen to public opinion here, I just did training to be financial advisor for a company. First thing they highlight in how many ways work I would do as pestering insurance agent is so dignified as compare to call centre staff. Most centres are in south and newspapers clearly says ‘bride wanted, but call centre girls need not apply’. Lot of evidence to suggest socially unapproved activities in centres and locals blame call centres for spoiling social fabric.
Do I feel reassuringly happy about being agent/advisor, then? Wait till you hear this. My classmate a bihari girl Engineer and fresh MBA. To be able to appear for MBA final exam took five days leave and in this economic slowdown, job she was doing in software firm in marketing with good incentive shook hands for last time. Disappointed girl joined the training I was doing and was so embarrassed to inform father that she is trying to be agent/advisor. Father would be disgusted’ ‘all these education I gave you to do this type of sales job.’ The girl, cant be honest and inform father to avoid hurting him, cant say she lost job for exams, cant say she is already working on other honourable work as he would not like that either. Father wants nothing less than ‘proper dream job’. She has interview to suit her MBA in one of the hospital, good luck lukshmi, Hats off to you for being so sensitive to your fathers dreams for you!! And you have not done anything to feel bad about! You will find job sooner or later in the meantime be as loving as thoughtful to your father!’ There is no job more enriching than that feeling of...
We are not politically correct here. Equal opportunity? Whats that? Life is race, no body waits to prove anything on paper. I went to a technical job opportunity and I was told sorry mudum, we don’t need women. (all for good intention, he did not want me to get tanned doing field work on hot sunny day, not suitable for ladies).
I called call centres, and they point blank asked
‘how old, mudum?’
‘umm oh i think 40 something’
‘sorry, mudum nobody over 25 we are interested in.’
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Food Talk? Here we get the best Italian Gelatos including indian Alphonso Gelato, watermelon gelato. Fruit basket has no fruits other than saffron succulant Mangos.
It rains now here. Rain in Banglur is very pleasant. That pre rain sweet smell of soil!
Class Act
Pyara Sakhi- vrund,
Remember, attending those parents evening? You sit in front of teacher while she spreads A4 record book and cleverly conceals everything below the name of your child and show record of your childs performance? She tells your child has scored (say) 93 marks. Being typical Indian helicopter parent with your hungry eyes try to peek on the records to make sure no higher number shows in front of any other name! That remained my regret that inspite of plenty of opportunity to receive roaring round of applauds for her performance she never came home chuffing for getting highest marks. It is socially incorrect to announce marks as it is damaging to self esteem of under achievers. So give them sanctuary to remain under cover.
To give me cringe, I had to live through quite opposite! In my course they did objective tests for practice. After the test teachers collects papers and distributes to other students randomly in a way you don’t get your own paper to correct. OMG! Disaster! My paper was given to 20 year old girl with un inhibited voice that springs out like a dancing fountain. My every incorrect answer she loudly announced, ‘sir, she has put ? instead of tick mark, sir’ (shhhhh means she is confused and has no clue what to tick, will u shut up?!). How many got questions 5 wrong? and everyone holding wrong answer proudly raises hand (meri ijjat thodi na jayegi?!). Sir gets the name of the default student and best part, clears the concept in front of 35 students, would you ever forget and make same mistake twice in real exam? Just for the record I did this Exam by IRDA board and passed with distinction.
Remember, attending those parents evening? You sit in front of teacher while she spreads A4 record book and cleverly conceals everything below the name of your child and show record of your childs performance? She tells your child has scored (say) 93 marks. Being typical Indian helicopter parent with your hungry eyes try to peek on the records to make sure no higher number shows in front of any other name! That remained my regret that inspite of plenty of opportunity to receive roaring round of applauds for her performance she never came home chuffing for getting highest marks. It is socially incorrect to announce marks as it is damaging to self esteem of under achievers. So give them sanctuary to remain under cover.
To give me cringe, I had to live through quite opposite! In my course they did objective tests for practice. After the test teachers collects papers and distributes to other students randomly in a way you don’t get your own paper to correct. OMG! Disaster! My paper was given to 20 year old girl with un inhibited voice that springs out like a dancing fountain. My every incorrect answer she loudly announced, ‘sir, she has put ? instead of tick mark, sir’ (shhhhh means she is confused and has no clue what to tick, will u shut up?!). How many got questions 5 wrong? and everyone holding wrong answer proudly raises hand (meri ijjat thodi na jayegi?!). Sir gets the name of the default student and best part, clears the concept in front of 35 students, would you ever forget and make same mistake twice in real exam? Just for the record I did this Exam by IRDA board and passed with distinction.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Maid-hum
Have I said anything about our home helper? Everyone complains about her sloppy work and look down on her social problems but I see more...
She calls me maidum, sounds like she is aware I am recent transformation from maid to maidum!
She comes between 6 and 7 in the morning and comes with a big smile and fragrance of jasmine. Sometimes she brings me bunch of Jasud and mogra garland for ceramic pot for the lounge. And takes it upon herself to refine the position of flowers in the water by fingering gentle adjustments . I find her smile alone worth lot more than her salary but it is not just smile I take in. I make extra cuppa T for her every morning and feel great for myself but wait till I find what others can do.
Savitri as I call her is no more than skin and bones but overflowing with grace and feminity. She has got figure that size 0 enthusiast try hard to achieve (what a misery) while depriving themselves of food and depriving loved ones who cook for them of having any reward for serving them food sprinked with love/care. She has high school going kids. And a husband who drinks a lot and beats her. One day she was bruised and said she has summon her mother-in-law and asked her to take her son away to their village as she cant put up with this drinking and beating anymore. wow what a spirit! doing household work but has confidence (unlike me) to manage in costly city like Bangalore to raise 2 kids and aspire to give them best future (just like me). She has joyous excitement and anticipation on day of results of her kids. While I was away packing remnants of my sansaar in UK, she was also busy shifting as lot happened in her life. She came with bruises on neck and could not speak. My young neighbour lady could not tolerate this and she and her husband held savitri’s hand and put her in car mentioning about hospital treatment but went straight to her home. ‘Gentle’man neighbour beat her husband to heart’s content and they said it is actually savitri who should be doing rounds of beating him rather otherway round due to his irresponsible behaviour. What also came to light is that the lady she brought to us introduing as her sister was actually second wife of her husband. So my neighbour rented another affordable house near our area and shifted her with kids with everything including kitchen sink. (did I hear anyone say ‘social security’? Security is in having awake and involved society around, isn't it?) She appears in control, wakes up at 5 prepares tiffin for kids as outside meals are not good for their health. (kunjal, something to learn, what are you doing devouring those chaats from laariwala all the time?)
Whats missing since her relocation is her jasmin gajra from her tidyly comed hair! (guess why?)
Whats still there is genuine care for others. As I try to land a hand to squeeze water out of bedsheets, she vehmently throws me out of bathroom, its her job and she wont let me do any labour. Little on resources in kitchen when she is late I often have to clean some pots and pans for morning breakfast and servant lady on 7th floor talks to savitri working in my gallary ‘your maidum did all the burtans’!! And having growing kishori at home she has found another old rickshawalla who provides chartered services to drop and pick up her pride and joy, Daughter. No bheed-bhaad of buses or anyone brushing past her princess!!
How many of us ladies or mothers hear from our loved ones, kids and husbands included something similar to ‘urey, yeh tune kar liya? Kyoun? Merey liye intzaar ker leti’ (regretting when you are not fast enough to sort something before your loved one puts their efforts in doing same).
What I see is her BIG heart hiding between those skin and bones.
She is very happy to have doctor Keyur around complains often about headache to get feelgood of recieving those 'imported' medicine. (Now I am not taking trouble of explainging to her that those 'imported' places actually import generic medicine from her neighbourhood only).
I have admired my neighbour openly for her initiative to wake up her human soul to try and break life of anxiety, disgrace and money down the drain to satisfy her husband's liquor needs. And I said that may be we should start the NGO together and when in need her husband can do some pitaai and my husband can do some davaai for our clients!!
She calls me maidum, sounds like she is aware I am recent transformation from maid to maidum!
She comes between 6 and 7 in the morning and comes with a big smile and fragrance of jasmine. Sometimes she brings me bunch of Jasud and mogra garland for ceramic pot for the lounge. And takes it upon herself to refine the position of flowers in the water by fingering gentle adjustments . I find her smile alone worth lot more than her salary but it is not just smile I take in. I make extra cuppa T for her every morning and feel great for myself but wait till I find what others can do.
Savitri as I call her is no more than skin and bones but overflowing with grace and feminity. She has got figure that size 0 enthusiast try hard to achieve (what a misery) while depriving themselves of food and depriving loved ones who cook for them of having any reward for serving them food sprinked with love/care. She has high school going kids. And a husband who drinks a lot and beats her. One day she was bruised and said she has summon her mother-in-law and asked her to take her son away to their village as she cant put up with this drinking and beating anymore. wow what a spirit! doing household work but has confidence (unlike me) to manage in costly city like Bangalore to raise 2 kids and aspire to give them best future (just like me). She has joyous excitement and anticipation on day of results of her kids. While I was away packing remnants of my sansaar in UK, she was also busy shifting as lot happened in her life. She came with bruises on neck and could not speak. My young neighbour lady could not tolerate this and she and her husband held savitri’s hand and put her in car mentioning about hospital treatment but went straight to her home. ‘Gentle’man neighbour beat her husband to heart’s content and they said it is actually savitri who should be doing rounds of beating him rather otherway round due to his irresponsible behaviour. What also came to light is that the lady she brought to us introduing as her sister was actually second wife of her husband. So my neighbour rented another affordable house near our area and shifted her with kids with everything including kitchen sink. (did I hear anyone say ‘social security’? Security is in having awake and involved society around, isn't it?) She appears in control, wakes up at 5 prepares tiffin for kids as outside meals are not good for their health. (kunjal, something to learn, what are you doing devouring those chaats from laariwala all the time?)
Whats missing since her relocation is her jasmin gajra from her tidyly comed hair! (guess why?)
Whats still there is genuine care for others. As I try to land a hand to squeeze water out of bedsheets, she vehmently throws me out of bathroom, its her job and she wont let me do any labour. Little on resources in kitchen when she is late I often have to clean some pots and pans for morning breakfast and servant lady on 7th floor talks to savitri working in my gallary ‘your maidum did all the burtans’!! And having growing kishori at home she has found another old rickshawalla who provides chartered services to drop and pick up her pride and joy, Daughter. No bheed-bhaad of buses or anyone brushing past her princess!!
How many of us ladies or mothers hear from our loved ones, kids and husbands included something similar to ‘urey, yeh tune kar liya? Kyoun? Merey liye intzaar ker leti’ (regretting when you are not fast enough to sort something before your loved one puts their efforts in doing same).
What I see is her BIG heart hiding between those skin and bones.
She is very happy to have doctor Keyur around complains often about headache to get feelgood of recieving those 'imported' medicine. (Now I am not taking trouble of explainging to her that those 'imported' places actually import generic medicine from her neighbourhood only).
I have admired my neighbour openly for her initiative to wake up her human soul to try and break life of anxiety, disgrace and money down the drain to satisfy her husband's liquor needs. And I said that may be we should start the NGO together and when in need her husband can do some pitaai and my husband can do some davaai for our clients!!
Oodles of joy from Ooty
Constellation of friends,
I am sorry for the mix up of mail. Virus has been doing rounds these days!! But I guess you did not have permanent loss of data and are still talking to me!!??
I ve been to UK an back. I apologize for not getting in touch while there, it was impossible to do anything else other than pack up. Since our separation (keyur & me), Keyur has vowed to do everything ‘together’ only and kept even copies of every newspaper from my last visit by bedside for ‘us’ to pick up ‘together’!! !
I am sure most of you are having vacation fun at home and abroad. Meanwhile we had short break to Ooty and what an aromatic break it was!! Ooty, short form of Udgam madalam meaning queen of hills. First time since my arrival words fail to come. I have not seen such fertile soil anywhere else in the world. Greenery and scenery, yes we find everywhere but not this kind. Every particle of soil is capable of bearing fruit. Neel Giri (blue mountain) is coverted with flora and fauna that can be consumed one way or the other. You can sip eucalyptus with every breath in. No wonder it used to have sanatorium in those days. There are other spices such as clove, javintri etc etc. I would not recognize these spices by their colours! Such deep and fresh and moist they were. If we try to put scissors to clove it oozes oil and the stem will not break as opposed to overly dried and already extracted cloves we get in supermarkets. Javantri looked like rose petals. Some other spices used for birayani etc. Lot of these spice plants were replaced with tea plantation to satisfy foreign thirst are still thriving. Visited tea factory and packed some. Also collected five variety of essential oils. Best part was journey through nature reserve of bandipur and muddumalai. Dense bamboo woods and calm yet alive forest with wildlife in its natural habitat. On way back stopped over at water fall, its was more like small to large pebble field with water playfully flowing down. One can jump over those rocks at various points. Very accessible and inviting rather than intimidating like niagra.
Ok, welcome back home and from serene sound of nature to thumping music of catwalk for the launch of a scandinavian label called ‘jack and jones and only’. Took some picture with Neil Nitin mukesh and Anushka sharma. He is very cultured and she is very fragile and exquisite. I wonder in amazement looking at these beautiful species that look like humans but lot different than me!
Yes, you guessed it Keyur gave them bhavan website and promised they would be looked after if they visit manchester-bhavan.
With flavourful and spiced up goodwill for you all
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